The Ninth Gate

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities."

~ Dr. Seuss

Once upon a time

If I told you that life used to be different, would you believe me?

“Different in what way?” you ask.

Well, for starters, people used to have way more imagination than they do now. I mean, we didn't have TV like you do today. Where everything is spoon-fed to you like so much pablum. We listened to the radio, and since there were no pictures we had to invent them with our minds. We decided what the characters looked like, what they wore, and what their mannerisms were. We listened to the scripts and were our own directors.

Reading is also good for the imagination...

Nowadays, almost nothing is left to the imagination. We demand to see it. “Show it to me,” we shout, “I want to see it!”

But, once we've seen it, we realize that it's not as pretty, as the other images in our minds. 

Especially, the ones that come from fantasy...

There is always a zit on the most perfect ass. That's just the way the cookie crumbles. Perfection, as it were, only exists in our imagination. Reality is a motherfucker.

Young boys fantasies

When you are a child your fantasies are based on becoming an adult.

I was lucky that my mother used to read to me. It opened a world of fantasy, that would've otherwise been closed to me. Miss Lamar, my third grade teacher, also read to me. Stories from the Old Testament about the wandering, and murderous, children of Israel... God's chosen people... Raping and pillaging... Mercilessly killing their enemies... Oh God, how stimulating to the imagination!

We Europeans had knights, lords and ladies, kings who won their kingdoms with the sword. Wanderers and crusaders who went forth to do battle against the foes of Christendom... The heathens and savages, barbarian hordes, and Satan-worshiping infidels. We killed people, just like the ancient Hebrews, but it was OK because we had God on our side.

God wanted us to kill. Because survival of the tribe is more important than morality. You fight because that's the way it is... there is no choice. You cannot refuse the call of duty.

All of this was very obvious in the post-World War II world. Now that the Germans and the Japanese had been laid to rest, We were faced with the 'Red Menace', and the 'Cold War'. We could be obliterated in the blink of an eye by the detonation of nuclear weapons. And, everybody knew it. We practiced crawling under our desks at school. “Duck and cover!” the teacher would shout... “Watch out for flying glass and falling ceiling beams.”

It was possible to survive a nuclear attack. To prove it the Government dropped atomic bombs on our own troops in New Mexico... All you had to do was put on your sunglasses and find a fucking hole... We knew that if our soldiers could survive being at ground zero, then we could also survive... Of course, nobody knew about cancer in those days...

Everyone believed that cancer was hereditary. We were told to stay away from sick people, “It might be contagious,” they told us. Still, cancer was pretty rare. The only person I ever knew that had it was old man Howe, and we just figured it was God's punishment because he was such an asshole.

A young boy needs heroes. Something to aspire to. Otherwise he will have no direction in his life. (Especially if he doesn't have a father.)

Uncle Ho

Meanwhile, across the globe, thousands of miles from the United States, a guy named Ho Chi Minh is kicking the Jap ass... In a tiny little country that nobody has ever heard of.

"When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking. "

~ Albert Einstein

There are forces at work in the world that are so powerful that they cannot be stopped by any ordinary means. These forces are the work of God. Of course, the rich and the powerful do not believe in God – they just use him as a club to beat the downtrodden masses into submission!

So, at first, they laugh. And, then they send out the 'flying monkeys'... trying to capture Dorothy and her dog... The wicked witch looks into her crystal ball, and thinks that she can see the future. But, nobody can predict their own demise. And, that includes the Japanese, the French, and the Americans.

“In God we trust,” they say, “All others must pay cash.”

Some people are willing to pay in blood; for they actually believe what they say, and when they say, “I'm going to kick your fucking ass,” they aren't bullshitting around. They are going to kick your fucking ass!

You may laugh, and think that this guy is just a little crazy. What he says is absurd. How can some little mouse eat a tiger? It's really simple: the tiny little mouse has got his 'mojo' working.

And, you don't.

Learning magic from the Grand Wizard

Some people have to learn the hard way. They wind up starring at you with cold, unseeing eyes. Dead man's eyes. The first time I saw death, it was a face lying in the dirt. It looked like a rubber Halloween mask. A .45 caliber round will blow your face right off your skull. Death looks surreal... it has a strange beauty all of its own, a hypnotic beauty.

My mother was a whore. Moreover, all women are whores. Even the Virgin Mary.

My father was a fool. Moreover all men are fools. Even Solomon.

The smart guy? Why he's a Jew. But nobody is going to believe that. We believe that everyone is the same. Even when we know its bullshit. We like to idolize people, put them on pedestals, and pretend their shit don't stink. “Shit is shit,” we say.

Is it?

Maybe you need to do an experiment?

And, find out how different are the various aromas of shit... their coloration (The sum of the beliefs or principles of a person, group, or institution.), texture (The distinctive physical composition or structure of something, especially with respect to the size, shape, and arrangement of its parts: the texture of sandy soil; the texture of cooked fish.)

Ah, boys and girls, this is why I love science....