Ministry of Truth

The Internet, yeah, that's the place to gather all kinds of information...

Only, a lot of that information is depressing and/or boring. Even the stuff that should be exciting only rates a weak, "Blah."

So, the Government is planning to make war on its own citizens... isn't it always making plans to go to war with everybody? Iran, China, North Korea? Seems like there's a 'plan' for dealing with everybody. Only, the Government can't find its ass with both hands. So, it never deals with anything - until it is too late.

What about New York? Yeah, we know its a police-state. Who wants to visit New York anyway? Maybe it was cool in years gone by... because we thought New York was someplace special... But, there are no special places left any more.

Let's look at all the knee-jerk issues:

Homosexual marriage? Marriage is obsolete. It's a stupid idea whose time is over. So, now 'queers' want to get married to each other? Who gives a flying fuck. The only reason to get married is that a wife can't testify against her husband. But, even that idea is obsolete. Everybody is a rat nowadays.

Gun Control? What exactly does that mean? Is that like hitting the toilet when you take a piss? Yeah, let's get the guns out of the hands of crazy people. Why do we need crazy people in society anyway? Why not just get rid of crazy people? How do we know the cops aren't crazy people? Has anybody ever done a study?

Women's Liberation? From what, the tyranny of the vagina? Do you really want your mother to go fight a war? Or your sister? Or your wife? Yeah, you can sit at home and watch it on TV. Equal pay? Does anybody get equal pay? Wake up and smell the bullshit - we are ALL slaves, and in need of liberation! Why not just get rid of the sexes? Make babies in test tubes... sex is boring, can't we come up with something new?

Racial equality? Just go to Walmart and observe the races... It is a journey of enlightenment. People so stupid they have to open the boxes and look inside because they don't believe the picture on the boxes. Let's put a whole bunch of meat in our basket and then leave it around the store, because we changed our minds... then Walmart throws it away and charges the other customers for it. Equality? As what, shop-lifters? Maybe as welfare recipients? How long has it been since civil rights? Fifty, sixty years? Nothing has changed. Stupid people are still stupid, and assholes are still assholes.

Genetically modified food? You want to eat don't you? Sure it causes lots of health problems, but, at least, you won't have to go hungry while you're dying of cancer. Just because you're getting free food from the Government doesn't mean that everybody else is. So, they grow new life forms to eat? You like meat don't you? Just grill it! Who knows, maybe super giant insects would be tasty? "Soylent Green is made out of people!"

Global warming? It's just a theory, like evolution. The weather has always been like this. It's normal for it to snow in Florida in the Spring. And, anyway, humanity will just have to adapt to 165 degree summers. Maybe grow thicker skin, or something. That's what evolution is all about, isn't it?

Peak oil? Come on, there's plenty of oil. We just have to drill for it. I mean, driving your car is a God-given right, and so is cheap gasoline. All this talk about running out of oil is just to raise the price of gasoline and fuel oil. If the big oil companies can't take care of our needs then the Government should 'nationalize' them, and give us all free gasoline.

Environmental pollution? They said smog would go away if we sent all of our industries to China. What happened? There is still pollution. Some people say there is even more pollution than before. What if pollution is caused by people farting? That would explain the increase. There are more people who eat beans than there were before, right? I think we may be onto something here...

Voter rights? Jesus, only 15% of the population votes in an election. So, it's obvious that nobody really cares about voting. Why not make the process more difficult? If people really want to vote they should have to work for the privilege. Otherwise, they'll just vote for something stupid. We've got Congress to represent us, so what's the big deal about voting?

Rising crime rate? The reason for rising the crime rate is that we have more laws than we used to. Every year 1500 to 2000 new laws are passed in the State Legislature alone. Come on, that's too many laws. We need to go the other way and get rid of laws instead of pass new ones. Lots of them are stupid anyway. The Government should mind their own business and let people do what they want. Think about this: If bank robbery weren't illegal there wouldn't be any bank robbers....