On Being Someone Else

I'm going to be somebody else...

I watch MacGyver, all the re-runs of seven seasons,

the seventh son of the seventh son,

Comrade Maurice S. Newman (The 'S' stands for seven and "Steven".),

Morey S. Newman

Morris S. Newman aka "Moss" (Moris) > Moris Steven Newman

Kasimir Steven Newman...

you take your pick.

My name is Moss Newman,

I am the New Man...

The New Man doesn't care what you call him,

as long as you don't call him late for supper.

Assimilate MacGyver...

Adapt, improvise, and overcome;

Study hard and make progress everyday.

You are only as pretty as you feel inside.

I am a beautiful butterfly.

Keep it simple stupid (KISS),

and don't be a beefalo...

"Man was not designed to eat red meat."

Or, to stay up late drinking cheap gin and playing poker.

Comb your hair straight back, and wear a goatee...

Assimilate 'Uncle Ho', too,

I am the spiritual leader of a new race of men...

"You want some fried rice?"

Perhaps an ice pick in the base of the brain?

Boxers or briefs?

The Golden Scorpion necklace...

a sign to live by,

nobody fucks with the Golden Scorpion,

that would be 'un-wise'...

I came to the United States and worked in a Chinese restaurant,

washing dishes and busing tables, and, finally, cooking and waiting on tables;

"You want chicken egg rolls?"

It was there that I learned to smoke cigarettes and drink cheap liquor...

On the weekends I played Mah Jong. And, attended communist meetings.

I didn't have very much money for food, or anything else;

I was a member of the 'working poor'...

Being a 'wage-slave' is the ultimate evolution of slavery,

You pay for your own upkeep...

Life becomes a chain of miserable events.

You wear 'wife beaters' but you have no wife to beat.

It was under these circumstances that I realized that the system had to be over-

thrown.

I put on the uniform of revolution:

Paratrooper pants and the camp shirt.

I saved my money for a good pair of shoes...

After all, walking is the first form of transportation for the poor.

Maybe later a bicycle and/or a bus pass,

but, alas, these things are for the wealthy,

For the poor, the priority is a bowl of noodles,

and a cup of black tea...

We anguish over the question: How can I make a dollar?

And dream of eating egg foo young for breakfast...

(With fluffy white steamed rice.)

We are nothing and have nothing...

There is so much to want.

What do I want?

What is my purpose in the scheme of things?

Where am I going?

What is the meaning of life?

Vegetables and vitamin pills...

twenty-cent noodles,

100 tea bags for 99-cents!

Don't forget to exercise!

Buy an ice pick for self-protection.

Ah, these wealthy Americans,

they do not realize that everything is an illusion,

and, that they are walking on thin ice.

They have their 'Jesus',

and freedom

and democracy...

reach out to touch these things and they vanish!

"Relax, drink a beer and watch the ball game."

"When you die you will go to Heaven."

When life gets you down make some chocolate-chip cookies....